Geez! I wish these doctors would decide on what they think is wrong with me and stick to it! I went back to the doctor in July becuase my OB/GYN wasn't there the first time and I just saw a nurse practioner. Dr. A said after reviewing my file and my ultrasounds, she thinks I was actually pregnant, just a three or four weeks along when I miscarried. I have come to peace with this and have accepted that nature does hard things for us to spare us greater heartache in the end. She told me she didn't see anything alarming and that if she was a betting woman, we would be pregnant by the end of the year if that was what we wanted.
Justin and I are kinda letting things go organically for the time being. I dread the thought of charting, testing, etc. It's only been a year since I've gone off my BC, so I am still confident. I have days where I really appreciate being able to have Justin all to my self, but there are hard times too, like today where all I want is to be able to shout from the rooftops, "I'M PREGNANT!" for all the world to hear and celebrate. I see cute little baby things, snuggly blankets, and of course the six people I know personally that have recently announced their own pregnancies. I have a hard time lately with bitterness and anger that they're pregnant and I'm not. The ones that really grate my nerves are posting on Facebook every thirty minutes about how terrible their pregnancy is or how much they hate being pregnant. I will LOVE to have morning sickness and water weight and all of those "terrible" things!
I just feel a bit pouty today and wish so badly that I had a better attitude about it all.
